everybody commits mistakes

I was just browsing the scanned documents in the PC, and suddenly, I was surprised for seeing my old picture, which was taken when I was still first year. Then, i was the THIN, INNOCENT, smiling vernie.

I never noticed that time was passing by so fast. All I have in mind was to learn and have fun.
My high school years were a bit fun, a bit, because I am still blinded by my mistake in the past that resulted to the cold approach of some of my friends.

I was a CWTS officer, back when I was in fourth year. Maybe you’ll wonder if there is such thing as a CWTS officer when CWTS is just a subject handled by the teacher, as what we have in USC. Yes, it’s CWTS.

As an overview of what OUR CWTS class In UP is, I’ll explain it to you. It embodies the laws of CAT, including the side-step, (hu)manda, harap patalikod and all. So, our CWTS class can be considered an improvised CAT class, but we also do what CWTS classes do, including cleaning the whole campus. It’s kind of weird right? Well, my classmate were complaining why not stick to the real meaning of CWTS and forget about the CAT class laws, but our assistant principal, Ms. Rodel, did not permit it to happen. And by the way, we usually have our CWST during Mondays.

Anyways, back to the topic. Yeah, I lost my friends, lots of them, like almost all. I was a bit harsh to them, teasing them for not performing a drill right, or putting them to shame. I was just doing that because our trainers, back when we had the officers training, were doing that too. I really forgot that they were just our classmates, that being an officer is just a little bit of difference with regards to our ranks, and that I SHOULD LEAD THEM, not tease them or laugh at them.

There was one time when my classmate, I won’t mention her name, cried, because one of my classmates accidentally hit her somewhere, most of my classmates approached and comforted her. She said “I hate you!" Sitting somewhere near the crowd, just to make my classmates laugh, I said, “I haven’t made you cry, have I?”

Unfortunately, the plan of letting my classmates laugh didn’t turn out good. She paused, and said, “You always make me cry. I HATE MONDAYS BECAUSE OF YOU! ” All of a sudden, I was shaking, I really wanted to cry. I wanted to say to her that I was just doing my job as an officer, that it was never my intention to hurt her or something, and that she never knew what it feels to be scolded by our adviser for not being able to control their stubbornness during CWTS session. My eyes, they wanted to release the tears that I am holding back. But then, I stayed calm, composed myself and said in a nice tone, “sorry na gud!”, and I smiled and left the crowd.

I went to the CR and burst out into tears. Then, I started to regret being an officer, a CWTS officer. I lost my friends and their trust.

Every time, we had groupings, I’m always left single-handedly, without anybody wanted to be my group mate, then, one of my classmates, Roel, said, “You have only one friend left in the Alpha Company.” What?! I lost all of the rest?! Like, am I that harsh?! Omegeedd.. Do I still have friends in Bravo? Charlie? Or Delta? This is terrible.

When we had the CWTS culminating activity, I murmured, “No more CTWS. Huhu.” But Krystal heard it and said, “huhu No more power naaa.” WTF! It was a slap in the face! Paet.

Now, everytime one of my friend in the lower years would ask, “Ate Vernie, is it a nice thing to be an officer?” I would reply, “yes, you get to grade your cadets for their performance, you get to command them on what to do,but, sometimes, you’ll lose your friends”
I was very bad. But I don’t care about it because what’s important now is I’m learning from it.
After all, a person can never grow if he didn't commit a single mistake.

4 Responses so far.

  1. R says:

    that's what i have been telling you before. :D
    you should've have been more careful, and i was advising you that if you can, make a change.

    i mean, dili man gud na makasabot ang classmates nganung ing-ana ang buhatun ninyu as officers. naa man mo sa same ground, but since naay qualifications ang maging officer, especially ang grade, diha mo nagkaroon ug edge. :)

    there is a little insecurity in that part. pero it doesn't mean nga they totally hate you. normal ra na nga dili sila ganahan nga ing-anaun ninyo sila coz they think level ra mo. and sa akong opinion, dili man jud dapat mag-impose ang officers nga sundon jud sila in everything they say. like, break time is break time. dapat mulugar.

    but humana na tuh. :)
    time will heal all wounds girl. :)

  2. oyyvernie says:

    lageh, time will heal all wounds, pero kanus-a pa kaha sa? like thier treating me unlike the way they treat each other man gud, murag low najud keu ang pagtan-aw nila nako paet..

  3. R says:

    sus. mao na lagi na lagi. nasa huli ang pagsisisi. :)

    pareho lang mo ni someone special nako dah.

    don't worry. muabot ra lagi na. :D:D

  4. oyyvernie says:

    ana man jud na roj, wala may pagsisisi na nag-una..hahah

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